Meet me under the city lights

This year has held some tribulation of times for me. I'm not going to lie and say that it's all gravy when it isn't. This brand new year has brought about so many different circumstances; different situations that hit me like a bullet. I'm thankful that I was given the strength to pull through each and every one of those situations that arose. Some of them were fairly reasonable to make it through, while others, including the one that I'm still trying to get over, seem nearly impossible at times. But pain is vital in order to grow. In order to taste the sweets of life's bounty, you must first endure the pain. Nothing comes easy. Everything is a struggle. But, that's what is so beautiful about life. It's not some cheap easy one way ticket. Life can be a bitch at times, but it's that bitch that gives us character and the strength to overcome obstacles. However, impediments somewhat seem to blind many people. Make them think that that's all there is to life, and in that blindness, they lose the opportunities that come, they don't seize moments. They're stuck in their misery, when they should be celebrating that they have solace in each and every memory.

But every person is different, and everyone handles life and its cards differently. I must say that I've grown tremendously over the past couple of months. I'm not as naive as I used to be. I've tried my best to take each experience, whether it be heart breaking, jaw clenching, or just perfect, and mold it into who I am today. Life holds no guarantees. I have to remember that. But I have to remember that things happen for a reason - even though they are unexpected. It happens for a reason, it's all part of God's big plan, and I have to stay content with that. Even though I don't know the answer. I've learned that, trying to force shit to happen, is a big no-no indeed. I guess I'm being nonchalant about everything, trying not to care so much about a single thing that happens in my life. I'm trying to be a "go with the flow-er" even thought that's not my nature. I've been guilty of letting the past dictate my future, when I should be looking at the present. The past contains nothing but lessons, stemmed from experience. It's as simple as that.

I inquire myself where I stand in life. One minute I'm in high spirits and content, devoid of one solitary concern in the world, and then subsequently, it's right back to hiding in the sanctuary of my pillows. It's somewhat paradoxical, when it gets to the bare of it all. It's a tongue-in-cheek type of world. You live your complete life; you attempt and fabricate up immunity to all surroundings; invulnerability to any source of pain, hurt, or suffering. And for a few moments in time, you're the strongest thing that the world has ever seen. But that transforms. Life changes. People change. Things change and shit happens. So in that course that change takes, something or someone modifies you, and alters your stance on life. Unexpectedly you're susceptible to every single potential infliction of pain. You don't identify where down the way that this hasty change came to pass. You don't know when the change will impede, but you know that someone or something had a sufficient impact on you to shake you up, to make you change your ethics, your morals. By giving them that capability to make you feeble, you become immensely vulnerable. Like a baby. In actuality, that's precisely the case. They've stolen the candy from the baby, because yeah, it IS that effortless. So you ask yourself, how do I know when this is going to come about? Are there signs? No there aren't, and no you don't know when it is going to occur, because life holds no rhyme or reason. Things happen in life. Whether they be good, whether they be bad. But they all contribute to the individual that we are. Experience is life's greatest lesson. I think we've all learned that. As far as trying to discontinue this implausible change from occurring… don't even try. It's going to happen. It happens to everyone. Hearts break. End of story.

No one ever said shit was going to be easy. All you can do is chin the hell up and paste that beautiful smile on for everyone to see. Notwithstanding the verity that you may be tearing up inside. Because the culture we live in does not embrace melancholy. It's seen as something bad, but sadness can sometimes be beautiful, because it is in our sadness, that we truly realize who and what we really are. Sadness is what paves the road that happiness walks along. You wouldn't have one without the other. I don't even know where I'm going with this paragraph. But I guess what I'm trying to establish is that, when life seems as if it's met it's final day, just look over your shoulder, because odds are, the person standing right next to you has it 3 times as worse than you do…